Dating Articles

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Why Internet Dating? (July 2007)

Why would anyone want to meet on the Internet?!

The number of people who meet on the internet is growing at an unprecedented rate. In fact, the net has become the mode of choice among hundreds of thousands of computer users. The idea that these people are all nerds is ludicrous. They are just a step ahead of people who don't have net access or aren't familiar with Reality check: The Internet is getting more people to meet than through any other technological advance in the history of mankind. Since it is far easier for women to meet men both in daily life and online, this article focuses on advice for men who want to meet women. The Internet is getting more people to meet than through any other technological advance in the history of mankind...

What are the advantages of the net? First, when you meet someone online such as in a chat room or through personals ads, women don't feel pressured into finding reasons not to talk to you. Moreover, they aren't intimidated by your looks, not to mention 'stranger anxiety' – that awkward feeling of talking to a stranger and not trusting them

Some women who chat online may be overly paranoid. For example, they will refuse to even get a picture scanned for fear of all those fruit-cakes out there. To this I have several responses. First, the girl is so heinous that she is afraid to let people know they are chatting with a dog. Next, they have such a large ego that they think that of the 250 million people with net access around the world, the tiny insignificant handful of people that she sends her picture to are going to do something so terrible that will ruin her reputation. The reality is, people really don't care about the chick's one little picture. Finally, don't waste your time with these morons. When you meet people online, if you don't like them you can simply ignore them and you rapidly forget about them and move on. Of course, this works the other way around as well. The net makes it easy to get to know people on a superficial level over periods of days to months before even exchanging phone numbers or meeting in person. You can also scrutinize what they look like by seeing their picture before you meet them. It's easier to decide of they're your type physically-speaking. The reality is that telephone dating services are suffering. The only ones that are going to survive are those that are online as well. This benefits you so take advantage of it! With internet personals, you usually don't have to pay to search or browse through the ads. Compare this with expensive telephone dating. Telephone dating means people have to speak over the phone as complete strangers and that can be intimidating for anyone. As for blind dates...who knows what kind of person you are going to meet!? While they can help, they are frequently a waste of time.

All this being said, find the right person for you! There are thousands of very attractive people (physically and intelligence-wise) online and chatting at any given moment. It's up to you find them!

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On-line Dating really works! (August 2007)

Kevin had numerous failed relationships and began to feel depressed at finding a compatible partner. One day while surfing the net he came across a well know dating site. He thought he'd "try it for laugh" and not really take it seriously. After spending a few minutes searching the site he spotted a profile of someone called Linda and was 'intrigued' as he says.

After a few minutes thinking about it, he emailed Linda with some brief details about himself. To his surprise he got a reply with a few hours. Over the next week or so the swapped many emails about things they liked and what they didn't like as well. Kevin was surprised at how like-minded they both were. After more emails they exchanged phone numbers.

The first time they spoke was 'amazing' as Kevin calls it. The excitement and thrill was overwhelming he says. They talked for hours and hours.

Their first date soon followed and was in the capital city of England, London. Interestingly, they hadn't swapped pictures because neither had a scanner or digital camera or access to one so they had to rely on their own personal descriptions, which added to the excitement.

When they finally met they were very nervous. As Kevin says, "we were so shocked at seeing each other; we just didn't know what to say". But the initial shock wore off and they were soon talking and joking with each other. They spent the whole day wondering around London. At the end of the date they both kissed and hugged, and Kevin for the first time in many years felt that he had found not just a partner but a soul mate as well.

Within six months Kevin had proposed to Linda and she willingly accepted. And as Kevin says, "the rest is history"!

As Kevin points out, if wasn't for the dating web site, the likelihood of them meeting would of been very, very small!

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The Dancing Man (August 2007)

I had an interesting dating story that my friends and I still laugh about. I met a guy that was a fantastic dancer. I was ecstatic as I absolutely LOVE dancing.

For our first date, we meet at an Italian restaurant. I noticed that he had located a table outside on the patio....did I mention that it was a hot spring day? He was wearing a wool cream turtleneck and a wool hat. Hum....I found this a little odd; wasn't he uncomfortable?

So I sit down and he brought one red rose. Yes, I know this was sweet, but I was still focused on the wool turtleneck in the middle of this hot evening. We ordered food and he began to tell me all about himself. I found myself being slightly rude, as I heard very little of what he was saying. I was still focused on this wool sweater.

Just as dinner was served, he looked up to thank the waitress, and there it was! The reason for the wool turtleneck. I could see it just peak over the top of the turtleneck. A hickey! I thought "no way he would come on a FIRST date with a hickey on his neck!" Now I was even MORE focused. I didn't hear a word from that point on. I continued to stare at the fresh purple mark on his neck.

Dinner was eaten and it was time to decide end the date. He walks me to my car and asks for a hug. My response was "it depends on how you answer this next question." He says "okay, shoot."

"Well, I was wondering why on a hot spring evening, you would wear a wool sweater to dinner outside on a patio?"

Long silence. Then he replies "sometimes, I have these nightmares that demons are attacking me. The entire next day I have to cover my entire body."
OMG! Is he for real?!?! "Wow! Do you really think I am that gullible?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I can't believe that you would come up with such a wild story! I spotted that hickey when dinner was being served. I'm not stupid."

Then the truth comes out. He swears that it was his friend's birthday the night before so they spent the night at the strip club where he was dragged onto stage where the strippers where biting him. Yeah, right!

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Sleeping Date (August 2007)

I’d been dating this girl only a couple of weeks. Our dates consisted of meeting for drinks, casual dinners, and hanging out a few times at the beach. We had quite a bit in common and the conversation was easy.

I felt comfortable asking her to join me on a hot air balloon ride, even though this is something that usually indicates something more serious… a marriage proposal perhaps? But to clear up any misunderstanding (or better, Mrs.-understanding), I explained I’d been offered the opportunity through a connection at a previous job and simply wanted to take advantage of it. Neither of us had ever gone up in one before and thought it sounded fun.

I made the reservation for a Sunday morning and was instructed to be there by 5:30 a.m. Though it was called the “Sunrise Balloon Ride,” I still coughed and asked them to repeat the time anyway. I had heard them correctly. Why so ungodly early? Apparently, the air is stillest in the early morning before the wind wakes up and is therefore better for hot air travel.

My date and I were both pretty laid back, social people, so we sort of kept things open. We went out the Saturday night before our early Sunday morning flight. We were having a good time and we stayed out until bar closing time. At this point, we decided we’d just stay up all night. (At that point, we only had about two hours until we were due to leave.)

So we stayed up, and watched bad, late-night TV: infomercials advertising appliances for obscure kitchen tasks, movies with monsters squashing towns, and Girls Gone Wild commercials that began with a warning accompanied by Caribbean music.

At 4 a.m., it was time to leave. I drove. She kept me good company through the first thirty minutes of the trip and then passed out in the passenger seat. I spent the next forty-five minutes or so struggling to keep myself up. I cracked the window and let the breeze blow on my face. The sudden noise from my opened window barely stirred her as we cruised the empty highway. She would periodically wake long enough to apologize for falling asleep and then fall asleep again!

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Dating in the 21st Century (August 2007)

We are romantic creatures. We are social creatures. With these two elements sharing our genetic code, we have little choice but to seek out someone with whom we can feel free to share our romantic gestures. In the Stone Age, this was accomplished much the same way as any survival technique (i.e., hunting and gathering). In the Industrial Age, the biggest change was that we looked and smelled better during our pursuits. Now, in the Digital Age, we are more efficient with our techniques, electronically
speaking, however we have also proven that the human species has not changed a great deal on this fundamental level. So, instead of trekking over hill and dale searching for a love connection, we now flip a switch and “google” for one. Less sweat, but other than that, not much else has changed.

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Happy Endings (August 2007)

Sandra Smith says when it comes to online dating, some people make assumptions.

“I think there’s this misconception that you’ve got to be a loser. Hey, I was just busy,” she said.

On a lark last year, Beth joined Metrosingles.com, one of the Web’s most popular dating sites. It was just another piece of her full life, a big part of which she spends teaching at a local University. She didn’t think anything serious would come out of it.

“I’m a very cautious person. I thought there’s no way you could meet the love of your life online,” she said.

Well, fate believed otherwise when Sandra met Grant for a cup of coffee after connecting on Metrosingles.com. The 40-somethings chatted for three hours about taboo first-date topics, such as religion and politics. They found they shared many common values.

Grant had another date with a woman that evening, which turned out to be a disaster. He thought of Beth the entire time. Shortly after, he called Beth back, and they decided to date exclusively.

They were engaged just two weeks later.

“People were really shocked,” Beth said. “Generally, we’re not impulsive.”

The couple are one of an estimated 120,000 couples who get married every year as a result of online dating, according to Online Dating Magazine.

Not everyone is quite so lucky, of course. Subscribers can spend countless hours sifting through profile after profile of “I love long walks on the beach” and then suffer through terrible first dates that seem to drag on forever.

Users should be wary of the pictures posed with profiles, too. Misleading photos akin to Abercrombie & Fitch ads muddy the waters. Vague and potentially inaccurate body-type descriptions (What does “curvy” really mean anyway?) test people’s belief in the process.

People even have to watch out for “professional online daters” who are addicted to the online-dating game. They rarely form a real relationship and bail at the first sign of trouble.

But despite all the pitfalls, those “You had me at hello” moments really do happen. Just ask Blair and Andrea Brown. The couple met on Metrosingles.com in 2005 when the service was free.

It didn’t happen immediately — Blair had to surf around a while to find Andrea.

“I found one woman who wanted me to bungee jump with her,” he said.

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Age gap real love (August 2007)

I was in my early forties, and for the life of me, I had never felt more lost then I did right then. At one time my world was captivated with kids, a husband and all of their schedules. I couldn't wait for the day that things would slow down. Only now, it seemed it had all came to a screeching halt. My husband of 24 years had been taken out of my world suddenly. We had married while I was only 17. I was a mom by the time I was 19, and a grandma by the time I was 42. How short life suddenly became.

I watched my son and his wife laughing as they teased her twin brother that soon he would be married and having a kid of his own. Of course he argued back that he has never found the perfect woman for him so he didn't see that happening anytime soon. They were all the picture of youth as they sat on the embankment with fishing poles in hand.

Jaye and his wife Angie would be having their first baby within a few short weeks. Wow, my second grandbaby. Only this time, I wouldn't have anybody to share the grand parenting roll with. I watched the ripples in the pond slowly disappear as my line sunk deeper into the depthness of the murky water. My thoughts were on everything else but trying to catch the next fish.

"Jes, you've got something on your line." Rick yelled at me. Surprised I watched as my line pulled tight and was taking off towards the middle of the pond. I pulled my pole back as I began to reel in this monster sized fish. After playing tug of war for a bit, I reeled in a 2lb perch.

We all laughed about this "whopper" of a fish. Teasing them, I told them that I had to get it mounted, it was such a prize catch. After a little more of fishing, we all decided that it was getting late and they needed to head back to town. Rick volunteered to help me put the fishing gear back into the old barn that was used more for a storage shed then a barn. Jaye and Angie drove off as we placed the tackle boxes and fishing poles in the old pickup and then drove to the house.

After putting them back in its rightful spot, I once again began to fight with closing the door. It had somehow over the years became stubborn about shutting correctly. Rick stood back and laughed at my attempts. He then went over and got the necessary tools out of his truck and came back then fixed the problem. "Just needs a little TLC" he teased. I watched his soft brown eyes danced as he talked. This opened the door for us to visit and before either one of us knew it an hour had slipped by.

As I lied awake listening to the birds chirping outside my bedroom window. For some reason, I felt lighter then most mornings. I didn't have the gloominess hanging over me. Then the phone rang in the other room. I sprinted out of bed and was able to answer it on the fourth ring. "Hello", "Jes, this is Rick. Jaye just took Angie to the hospital. She has been having contractions for sometime now." I told him that I would be there asap. I ran out and bottled fed the calves that were in the lot, and put some food out for the dogs. Then I grabbed a shower and was out the door within 30 minutes later.

Jaye was a basket case as he met me at the doors of the hospital. "She is hurting bad Mom. I don’t' know what to do to help her." I grinned and tried to convince him this was part of bringing a baby into the world. We walked down the corridor to the labor/delivery room where Angie was at. Rick was sitting beside her helping to take her mind off the pain through his funny way of telling stories. The contractions came closer together, and soon the nurse asked that only the "dad to be" stay in the room.

Rick and I decided to go grab a coke to drink in the cafeteria. Time passed as we indulged into lengthy discussions about nothing in general. I was amazed at how easy Rick was to converse with. It was as if there wasn't twenty years difference in our ages.
The baby was adorable. She was so tiny, so sweet and so dependent on everyone around her. Jaye and Angie found that they had little time for anything else sense she had arrived. Every now and then I had the privilege of sitting with her while they had an evening out just to have a break.

As I sat cradling her in my arms one evening, Rick came through their front door. "I knew that this was my chance to finally get to spoil my niece without her "mummy" standing over me being too protective." He teased as he gently picked her up in his arms and stared in amazement at her tiny features. He ran his finger over the profile of her small image. "So precious these little creatures are." He stated. Sitting down beside me on the sofa, he propped her up on his knee as he crossed it over his other leg. He was such a strong man and to watch him handle this tiny infant was rather amusing as well as amazing. We chatted about how different things would be for her by the time she was grown. I was becoming more and more comfortable in his presence. It wasn't like I was sitting next to one of my children's friends, he was different somehow. He then carefully picked the sleeping child up and placed her carefully in my arms. As I fixed her receiving blanket around this small form, he leaned over closer to me and began to rub the top of her sleeping head. The strength of his body was suddenly pressing against me. I could feel his chest rising as he breathed. I was suddenly aware of his manliness. His voice softened as he spoke about her beauty. The scent of his aftershave stirred my senses. I wanted to close my eyes and let his being envelope mine. Then I shook myself to reality...this was my daughter-n-law's twin brother! I could feel my flesh burn from embarrassment for even allowing those feelings to take hold of me for even a second. I had never felt so uncomfortable in all my life. He still tenderly rambled on about babies and I wanted to sink into the cushions. In what seemed an eternity he got up off the sofa and told me he had to leave. I was hoping he couldn't tell how awkward I truly felt. He told me goodnight and was gone.

Confusion over took my emotional state for days. I knew that after my husband had passed away that I would go through a time of being lonely, but I wasn't ready for those feelings to creep in unaware.

Thanksgiving came and sadly my children all had other plans for the holiday. They were going to their in-laws for the big meal. I told them it wasn't any big deal we could have a nice dinner together the following Sunday. I wasn't about to let them know how upset I was. This was my first Thanksgiving without my husband and now without any of my kids. Tears streamed down my face as I stared off into the distance from my kitchen window. I felt a pity party coming on and I didn't know if I was strong enough emotionally to shake it off. My thoughts were soon interrupted by a knock at the utility room door. I didn't remember hearing any vehicle drive up, but then again I was overwhelmed by thoughts of disappointed.

In walked Rick in his 6 foot stature. I saw a look of concern over take his face. Then it dawned on me that I had been crying. Quickly I wiped the tears away and sheepishly laughed as I told him I always got sentimental on holidays. He told me that was why he drove out this way. He said he knew this was my first Thanksgiving without my husband and he knew the kids would all be else where. I questioned him about why he didn’t go to his parent’s home with his sister Angie and Jaye. Suddenly he looked like the boy that had gotten caught with his hands in the cookie jar. Walking over to where I was standing, he cautiously took one of my hands in his. With his other hand, he tenderly wiped away a stray tear as it had slipped silently down my face. "I’m here for you Jes. I want to spend today with you."

I know that shock was written all over my countenance. "That is if you would like for me too." he added shyly. I couldn’t keep the tears from flowing. I tried to smile up at him. Only I now saw a side of him I didn’t know existed before. Water filled the brim of his brown eyes as he caressed my hand nervously. "Jes, I have to admit to you that I am amazed by you. You’re not like any other woman that I have ever met. I have tried to stay away from you, only I am always drawn right back to your presence. I know that there is an age difference between us, but Jes, I think I am falling in love with you."

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Flowers of love (September 2007)

Since ancient times people have used flowers to communicate their feelings, thoughts and ideas to others. Lewis Carroll sent Alice in Wonderland through the looking glass into a garden filled with talking flowers. The ancient Greeks and Egyptians endowed flowers with the power of Gods and the spirit of humanity. Many today give flowers with only a partial understanding of the message the flower holds for the receiver. Below, explore the messages of some of humanity's most cherished flowers.

Thistle, Scotland's national emblem, is a symbol of hard work, suffering and is believed to be a flower capable of dispelling melancholy according to the ancient Greek botanist Diosorides. Thistle is sometimes featured in fairy tales, symbolizing enduring love that can overcome pain, suffering and difficulties.

Iris, a symbol of faith, authority, victory and conquest is also believed to protect from evil spirits. The ancient Greeks named the Iris after a messenger of the Gods who guides the souls of women and girls into the afterworld. Even today, many Greeks place the Iris on the graves of women.

Honeysuckle has stood the test of time as a symbol of lasting pleasure, permanence and steadfastness since the middle ages.

Lily, a flower of purity, has been used as a strong religious symbol especially during the Christian celebration of Easter. According to the ancient Greeks, white lilies were created from the milk of Hera, the mother of Gods.

Tulip, a symbol of spring, wealth and life after death, this flower was originally grown in Persia; but is currently known as the flower perfectly cultivated by the Dutch. During the 16th and 17th century this flower was so sought after that people traded their homes and ships filled with cargo for only a few bulbs.

Roses symbolize love, joy, virtue and beauty; but can also symbolize death as in a single rose on a grave. Cleopatra was said to sleep on pillows filed with rose petals.

Daisies symbolize a sharing of sentiments, childhood innocence, freedom and sweetness.

Giving flowers can send a powerful message. It’s fun to know the message that you're sending with your next gift of flowers.

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Do you know what love is? (September 2007)

Being possibly the most trivial question of all time, this is one hard question to ask.

Love is not a bond, or a relationship, but more of a heart to heart conversation. When the conversation grows, the bond and relationship forms. Therefore, love creates the bond and relationship.

Still, that leaves us with the main question, what is love?

Love is no ordinary thing. It is not voluntary, but when it begins, you will know.

There are three types of love. Infatuation, love of family, and love of your spouse.

Infatuation, most commonly known as "Puppy Love", is basically love at first sight.
Infatuation can be the beginning of a future spouse love. Though most often infatuation doesn't amount to much.

Love of family is loving your mother and father, and any siblings you may have. You want to protect them, watch over them, and fill their lives with an unbounding joy. The parents have an innermost feeling for their children, which in my case, they express everyday.

Love of your spouse means loving someone you are married to. Whether husband or wife, you support your spouse with a deep modesty, and you treat them with great respect.

Okay, so I told you the three types of love. But I still haven't told you what love is. I told you a definition, a heart to heart conversation, but does that tell you much? No. So, I will put it straight.

Love means to care, to protect, to watch over, to pray for, and to make sure the loved person is happy. But to tell you the truth, those are all parts of love. Not love itself.

So, I will tell you what I think of love. Love has a meaning, but we will never know. Many philosophers have tried, but all their attempts have failed. Every single one of them!

Love is actually never the same thing.
Your destiny, your future path, what you choose to do, that all determines what love is. Love is never the same, you make up the meaning of love by how you choose to use it.

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Shy Guy (September 2007)

Well, I admit I am a very shy guy (so shy that I used to give the old women my seat in the public transport), and I definitely never (NEVER) approach random girls and talk dirty things to them, including asking them out on a date. But I had suddenly changed and I felt particularly brave one night after fighting my ill uncle in the hospital. I approached an attractive nurse named these days Tinny (or wasn’t it her porn star name?). For a reason I couldn’t understand at that time, the words were coming out right not the normal cursing and swearing, and I managed to not only to persuade Tinny to go out on a date with me, but also had a very lively conversation that left her crying in desperation.

So, we met after a few nights I hardly remember (probably due to the quantity of the drunken alcohol). I and Tinny started talking, which was awesome ‘cause I wasn’t very sure that I am able to talk after two litters of vodka. But then it started getting to be like she was flirting with me. She was even pawing at me and holding my hand! I'm not one for confrontation, but I wasn't going to let a minor porn celebrity to take advantage of me so easily (on my first date in months). I thought acting like a macho was the right way to go. I told Joe (I wasn’t sure that it was his name but when I am drunk I called everybody “Joe”) that maybe she should be worrying more about the global warming than flirting. You may be wondering who the hell is Joe – honestly I don’t know some guy that accidentally passed around. Oops. Tinny was furious with me that I would be so ideal match for her, and also gave me a direct order to refer to her as my girlfriend from now on. Joe gave me a dirty look as well. The rest of the night was just painful. I tried to steal a bottle of whisky from a video shop I remember the staff there enjoyed the idea and laughed long after I fall unconscious.

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First attempt (September 2007)

This is my first online dating story.  Yes, there are a few more...   If you have a true story (about you) that you want to share, please email me or add a comment.
After exchanging messages with a couple men online I had arranged to meet one in person. This was to be my first online date.

The night before we were to meet I watched an episode of “Touched by an Angel.” For those of you who have never watched the show, it revolves around three angels who help people through their crisis or challenge without the people knowing they are angels until the end.

On this particular episode, a young girl plans to meet the young boy she has been conversing with online. Only the young man is actually a predator. When she goes to meet who she thinks is a young boy the man abducts her. Luckily the angels swoop in and save her. All ends well. The moral of the story is obvious to viewers.

Now I’m paranoid about the date I’m about to go out on the next day. I’ve already taken some precautions as we are meeting in a very busy restaurant in a busy part of town. My mind starts to think up all the things that could go wrong… What if something happens? I’m single, who will notice I’m missing? How long will it take before they notice me missing?

I figure I have to come up with a plan to quell my new found fears (which seem incredibly dramatic in hindsight….). A friend and I decide that I should give her the name of my date, his cell phone number, the restaurant we’re going to, and the time I expect to be home. I’m then to call her at that time to let her know I arrived home safely. I doubt I’d have implemented any of these had I not watched that show!

I meet my date the next night and he’s really sweet. He ends up telling me some stories about dating women online… Hint – never send a man (or woman) a picture of someone else if you plan on meeting them in person one day…. I regress… I called my friend when I got home and all was well. I did implement this plan for the next couple dates letting her know where I was going and called her when I got home.

While it’s good to take precautions, I find it’s important to trust my gut. If something doesn’t feel right about meeting someone, trust that feeling.